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Why do I regret what I buy?

You wanted an object, bought it, and felt satisfied for a short time. Now the item remains, but the feeling has changed to regret. The object still works and nothing is broken.

A seven-year-old and a pocket of coins

In a 1779 letter from Passy, Benjamin Franklin recalls a holiday when he was seven. His friends filled his pocket with halfpence, and he went straight to a toy shop. On the way he had heard a whistle in another boy's hands, and he offered the boy all his money for it.

He spent the rest of the day whistling around the house. His siblings and cousins eventually told him he had paid four times the whistle's actual value, listed the other things he could have bought with that money, and laughed at him until he cried.

"the reflection gave me more chagrin than the whistle gave me pleasure."

— Benjamin Franklin, "The Whistle," letter from Passy, 10 November 1779

The shift in comparison

The whistle's sound did not change after the conversation. The difference was the comparison. The object was no longer viewed alone; it was now measured against a list of everything else he had given up to get it.

Purchase regret often follows this pattern. The item is weighed against an imagined set of alternatives.

Beyond financial cost

Franklin noted that adults also overpay for their "whistles." They pay with time, repose, liberty, virtue, a friend, health. He admitted he was still susceptible to "the apples of King John."

Another of Franklin's stories is on the page about the reasons we find for what we want.

The rest of the money

What did you compare your last regretted purchase to?

Epimelea is an app built around the existential school. The conversation carries over from one meeting to the next. The archive is encrypted on the device and belongs to the person who wrote it.

About the app: an AI therapist for long-term therapy

This page is about a school of psychotherapy. It is not medical advice and not emergency help. If you are in danger right now, contact your local emergency number, or find a helpline in your country at findahelpline.com.