Why do I enjoy complaining?
Complaining can feel good right up until someone offers a fix. Then the pleasure is gone. You didn't want help, though it's hard to say why.
Fyodor Dostoevsky wrote about this in Notes from Underground. In part I, chapter IV, the narrator expects the reader to laugh at him and admits he takes pleasure in a toothache:
"Well, even in toothache there is enjoyment"
— Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from Underground, part I, chapter IV, translated by Constance Garnett
He once had a toothache for a month, and he says the pleasure is in the moaning. Without it, he wouldn't moan at all.
Who the moans are for
The moaning doesn't ease the pain. The tooth would hurt just as much in silence. The sounds are for the people in the next room. He knows his family hears him, that he has worn them out, that they probably don't believe him. He keeps moaning anyway.
A moan like that keeps the others close: they can't tune it out. It also keeps them from fixing anything, because a moan meant for listeners isn't a medical problem. It's a way to stay with people without asking anything of them.
What the book leaves
Dostoevsky doesn't correct his narrator. He lets him talk until his own logic falls apart. The reader is left with a question: who are my complaints for, and what would happen if someone actually solved the problem?
Epimelea is an app built around the existential school. The conversation carries over from one meeting to the next. The archive is encrypted on the device and belongs to the person who wrote it.
About the app: an AI therapist for long-term therapy
This page is about a school of psychotherapy. It is not medical advice and not emergency help. If you are in danger right now, contact your local emergency number, or find a helpline in your country at findahelpline.com.