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Why do I feel like I'm running just to stay in place?

The raise arrived, but the rent went up with it. You mastered the new workflow at work, only to find a newer one already scheduled for release. At year's end, you look up and the view is unchanged. No disaster struck. You simply did not move forward.

The tree from Lewis Carroll

In the second chapter of Through the Looking-Glass, the Red Queen grabs Alice’s hand and sprints. They move so fast that Alice struggles to breathe, and when they finally stop, the Queen props her up against a tree. Alice looks around and sees their surroundings are identical to where they started.

“Why, I do believe we’ve been under this tree the whole time! Everything’s just as it was!”

The Queen shows no surprise. Of course it is, she replies.

The logic of the place

Alice explains that in her world, running fast for a long time moves you to a different location. The Queen labels that a slow sort of country.

Now, _here_, you see, it takes all the running _you_ can do, to keep in the same place.

— Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking-Glass

To reach a new spot, she adds, one must run twice as fast. For the Queen, this is simply how the place operates.

A quiet refusal

Alice does not argue with the rule. She answers, “I’d rather not try, please!” and notes that she is hot and thirsty.

It is a small act of refusal. She notices that she is in it and sees that running harder is an option she can decline.

The sensation of running in place is not always fatigue. Sometimes it marks the moment you realize whose rules you have been following.

What do I think would happen if I stopped running here, and how do I know that is what would happen?

Epimelea is an app built around the existential school. The conversation carries over from one meeting to the next. The archive is encrypted on the device and belongs to the person who wrote it.

About the app: an AI therapist for long-term therapy

This page is about a school of psychotherapy. It is not medical advice and not emergency help. If you are in danger right now, contact your local emergency number, or find a helpline in your country at findahelpline.com.