Why don't I have my own opinions?
At dinner, one person calls a movie overrated and you nod, and an hour later, someone else calls it a masterpiece and you nod again. You try to recall your take. It feels as if no one is inside to hold an opinion.
Two easy places
Ralph Waldo Emerson does not split people into those with original views and those who borrow them. He describes two states of being:
“It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Self-Reliance”, Essays, First Series
Emerson assumes your own opinion exists. It is easy to hold that view when you are alone, but the difficulty begins when other people enter the room.
An opinion that needs an empty room
The claim “I don’t have my own opinions” might be inaccurate. A perspective often exists, appearing during a walk, in the shower, or in a silent argument, but it simply goes quiet when another voice speaks, only to return once the conversation has ended.
Emerson says, “you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know it.” The crowd is not necessarily hostile. It is merely certain, and that certainty is difficult to stand against.
Agreeing as a way of staying close
Nodding along is not always a sign of emptiness. Sometimes it is a way to keep a conversation warm or prevent someone from withdrawing. This connects to pretending to understand and wanting someone else to decide.
The phrase “perfect sweetness” is key. Emerson is not describing someone who wins arguments. He describes someone who remains in the company of others without losing themselves.
Which of my opinions only exists when I am alone?
Epimelea is an app built around the existential school. The conversation carries over from one meeting to the next. The archive is encrypted on the device and belongs to the person who wrote it.
About the app: an AI therapist for long-term therapy
This page is about a school of psychotherapy. It is not medical advice and not emergency help. If you are in danger right now, contact your local emergency number, or find a helpline in your country at findahelpline.com.