Why was I happier when I had less?
Your income is higher than it was a decade ago. Rent is covered, the fridge is full, and buying a book requires no hesitation. Yet memories of a tiny apartment and counting coins feel warmer than the things you own now, even if you do not want to be broke again.
What Bridget says
Lamb shares tea with his cousin Bridget. While admiring a new piece of china, she admits:
"I wish the good old times would come again," she said, "when we were not quite so rich. I do not mean, that I want to be poor; but there was a middle state;"
— Charles Lamb, "Old China," Last Essays of Elia
Bridget does not praise poverty. She describes a specific “middle state” where they were a great deal happier.
The debate before the purchase
For Bridget, money changed the nature of buying. “A purchase is but a purchase, now that you have money enough and to spare. Formerly it used to be a triumph.”
The triumph lived in the waiting. Before buying a cheap luxury, they debated for two or three days, weighed the pros and cons, and decided what else to give up to afford the item. Lamb once spent weeks eyeing an old folio before finally buying it on a Saturday night. Bridget notes that a thing was worth buying when they actually felt the money they paid for it.
She misses the period of wanting. By the time the object arrived, it already held meaning.
What changed
Money eliminated the debate. Now, a wish becomes a purchase before it can grow into anything, and while the objects are better, none were wanted for weeks.
“I was happier with less” refers to the cost of wanting. The struggle made the object count.
This differs from why do I envy people with simple lives, which concerns longing for another's life, or why am I never satisfied, where nothing is ever enough.
What do I no longer want long enough for it to become a joy?
Epimelea is an app built around the existential school. The conversation carries over from one meeting to the next. The archive is encrypted on the device and belongs to the person who wrote it.
About the app: an AI therapist for long-term therapy
This page is about a school of psychotherapy. It is not medical advice and not emergency help. If you are in danger right now, contact your local emergency number, or find a helpline in your country at findahelpline.com.