Why do I enjoy disliking people?
A coworker who talks too loudly. A relative whose every opinion grates. You catch yourself waiting for the next wrong thing they’ll say. The dislike isn’t only unpleasant. Part of it feels good, and that part is harder to admit.
William Hazlitt wrote an essay about this, “On the Pleasure of Hating”. He didn’t think the pleasure was rare. He thought it was ordinary.
Why it lasts
Liking wears thin, Hazlitt notices. Good things go flat with time. Dislike doesn’t. It keeps its edge and gives the day something to push against.
So part of the pleasure is energy. Someone you dislike keeps you awake.
The sweetest kind
The pleasure is strongest when the dislike feels deserved. The other person is rude, dishonest, careless, and you’re on the right side. Hazlitt asks what that righteous feeling is for:
"Does the love of virtue denote any wish to discover or amend our own faults?"
— William Hazlitt, "On the Pleasure of Hating", The Plain Speaker
His answer is no. While your attention is on someone else’s faults, it isn’t on your own. Disliking becomes a rest from looking at yourself.
There’s a separate page on why complaining can feel good.
What the essay leaves
Hazlitt doesn’t tell the reader to stop disliking anyone. He shows where the pleasure comes from. That leaves a question: what do I stop thinking about while I dislike someone?
Epimelea is an app built around the existential school. The conversation carries over from one meeting to the next. The archive is encrypted on the device and belongs to the person who wrote it.
About the app: an AI therapist for long-term therapy
This page is about a school of psychotherapy. It is not medical advice and not emergency help. If you are in danger right now, contact your local emergency number, or find a helpline in your country at findahelpline.com.