Why do I lie to myself?
You might have a story you tell yourself. The job is just for now. The marriage is only tired, not broken. You will eventually return to the work that matters. Sometimes you notice the gap between the story and the facts, but you keep telling it anyway. Something in your life seems to depend on that story.
A doctor of illusions
In Henrik Ibsen's 1884 play The Wild Duck, Hjalmar Ekdal believes he is creating a great invention. He is not. His neighbor, Dr Relling, knows the truth. When another character, Gregers, asks what remedy the doctor is using on Hjalmar, Relling replies:
"My usual one. I take care to keep up his life-lie."
— Henrik Ibsen, The Wild Duck, act V, tr. Eleanor Marx-Aveling
Relling views this life-lie as a stimulating principle, treating it like medicine. He argues that if you remove the average person's life-lie, you remove their happiness.
Two men, one decision
Gregers takes the opposite view. He believes truth is the only way to freedom and intends to destroy Hjalmar's illusion. It is easy to see Relling as a cynic and Gregers as an idealist.
However, they share a common trait: both decide what Hjalmar needs without ever asking him.
A self-lie props up a wall. Pulling it out might cause the wall to collapse, and leaving it means never knowing what actually supports the structure. Who maintains the story matters most.
Pretending you did not want something you lost is a related experience, discussed on its own page.
What the play leaves
Ibsen does not resolve the conflict between the doctor and the idealist. He shows two people making decisions for a third. In a life-lie, the doctor, the idealist, and the patient are often the same person.
What story is holding your life up, and what lies beneath it?
Epimelea is an app built around the existential school. The conversation carries over from one meeting to the next. The archive is encrypted on the device and belongs to the person who wrote it.
About the app: an AI therapist for long-term therapy
This page is about a school of psychotherapy. It is not medical advice and not emergency help. If you are in danger right now, contact your local emergency number, or find a helpline in your country at findahelpline.com.